Single Mothers: The
New ÒHeroesÓ
by Jason Lovelace
Key Scripture:
Matthew 18.6-7 – But whoso shall offend one of
these little ones which believe I me, it were better for him that a millstone
were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea.
Woe to the world because of offences!
Matthew 19.4-5 – Have ye not read, that he that made
them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, ÒFor this cause shall a man leave his
father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they twain shall be one
fleshÓ?
I Corinthians 7.9 – But if they cannot contain, let
them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
Introduction – Single mothers are quickly becoming
the Icons of the civilized world.
They are the Heroes of the
Technologically Advanced nations. Each year, more and more of them are
championed by WomenÕs Rights
Groups, more and more are defended by a public which has become more and more
morally directionless. Even Christian Institutions are being pressured into
accepting single motherhood as the norm. What does the Bible say about single
motherhood? What is GodÕs opinion of
the choice of being a single mother? This lesson will deal with the choice of
Single Motherhood specifically. This writer realizes that there are instances
where single parenthood is unavoidable. Let us look and see what the Bible
says about the choice of single parenthood.
Point #1 – Sex Apart from Marriage is sin:
As sex is the starting point for
single motherhood, this is also where this lesson will start, as well. Sex
outside of marriage – GodÕs design – is sin. This
is stated clearly in the scripture references today, and has been spoken towards
in previous lessons. Sex outside of the design for which God created it – as with anything else – is sin. It is sin against God, and
sin against the body, as Paul speaks of in I Corinthians. Despite modern mediaÕs attempts to downplay the consequences and
wrongness of sex before and outside of marriage, it is still sin, and
statistics – though covered
up – prove that marriage
relationships are healthier when both partners wait for sex. Same is said for
children born to a husband and wife, as opposed to a single mother.
Point #2 – Having a Baby as a Single ParentÉ
This next statement will be
controversial, but it must be said: Anyone choosing to have and raise a child
without being married is also committing a sin, especially when considering the
odds against the child growing up to have a healthy life. The Bible states
clearly that the best design for a family, for a child, is for that child to be
born and grow up in a husband-wife household. Statistics overwhelmingly show
that children who grow up in a single-parent family are more likely to become
involved in crime, more likely to develop serious social problems, are less
likely to develop in commitment, and, particularly with girls, are more likely
to end up single parents themselves. In light of the statistics, how can it be
correct for a woman to choose to have a baby as a single mother? Matthew 18.6,
one of our scripture references makes it clear that children are precious in
GodÕs sight, and that to cause one of them
to sin is a heinous crime and a terrible sin! If a woman or a man willingly
chooses to have a child as a single parent, regardless of the odds against that
child having a life that is healthy and productive, how can it be anything less
than a sin? Please understand, this in no way is supportive of abortion,
despite what media stories relate, and what the more liberally minded might
believe. At the same time, choosing to raise a child when in the face of the
odds against that child developing correctly is not right, and as I John 5
states, anything that is not righteous is sin. GodÕs design for raising a child is still the right
way. Any deviation from GodÕs perfect will
and way is sinful, and this includes choosing to become a single parent,
especially knowing the odds are against you and the child.
Point #3 – Single Mothers are now the New
Champions:
Look at any media outlet today,
and you will soon see that single motherhood is being championed more and more
often. Just a generation or two ago, single motherhood was viewed as an
unfavorable situation, and though statistics prove that such is still the case
for both mother and child, mainstream media continue to portray single mothers
as ÒcourageousÓ, ÒstrongÓ, and ÒsacrificialÓ. As in the case of two US teachers who were fired
from their Christian Schools, single mothers are also seen as victims by the
media. The two female teachers in question both chose to engage in sex,
despite the fact that they were single. Subsequently, both became pregnant,
and, when school authorities on both cases found out, both of these teachers
were fired: one from a Catholic School n New York, the other from a Protestant
School in Alabama. The New York Teacher in question, in an ABC News interview,
described herself as a ÒvictimÓ, relating how the Catholic School that fired her
was ÒpersecutingÓ her, and alleging that she had ÒsufferedÓ. A further
case in North Carolina is being investigated where a tutor to fifth graders has
accused her former employer of firing her because of immoral behavior, she
being unwed and pregnant. In all three of these cases, these women are being
heralded as victims, despite the fact that their contracts and codes of conduct
with their schools forbade sexual activity outside of marriage. Television and
other major media outlets continually produce stories of single mothers who are
portrayed as champions and heroines. Case in point is Former U.S. Army Private
Jessica Lynch. Miss Lynch, the former POW in Iraq, whose rescue riveted the
world, was declared heroic when it was announced that she was pregnant by her fiancŽ. The delivery of her baby was also praised as
further proof of her recovery from her war trauma As of this writing, Miss
Lynch still has yet to marry her fiancŽ. Other
celebrities, such as supermodel Nikki Taylor, singer Madonna, comedienne Rosie
OÕDonnell, and actress Jodie Foster, have
also been trumpeted by the press and TV as heroines, facing their world
courageously while raising their children alone. Here in Japan, this past
Spring, NHK ran a story and special about a young, single mother who was
striving to do her best to hold down a job in a tool and dye, all the while
trying to raise her son. The story portrayed the young woman as heroic,
dedicated, and courageous. Never once was there mention of the need for her
young, one-year-old sonÕs need for a
father. The story ended with members of a panel weeping at this young ladyÕs plight, applauding her for her strength and
courage to carry through, all but dubbing her a champion of sorts for other
women out there, and a role model for the younger generations. The story didnÕt mention the overwhelming odds against both the
woman and her son having a truly good future. A further example of media
championing single motherhood is a recent BBC Documentary detailing the lives
of 40 women who all made the choice to become single mothers. Despite the
facts, media continues to pump up, prop up, and make champions out of single
mothers.
Point #4 – If You Want Children, Get Married
First!!!
Though Paul in our Scriptures
from I Corinthians is speaking directly towards sex, it can be applied to
having children. Are you a man, and want children? Are there any single
ladies who want to have a baby? The answer is simple: get married. Find a
man (if you are a woman) or a woman (if you are a man) that you think will make
a great father or mother, and also a great husband or wife, settle down, and
get married. This is not a pat answer, and this writer knows that finding
someone to love and marry can be extremely difficult in many cases. But the
simple answer to someone or anyone wanting a baby and children is to do it the
old fashioned way: get married. If you place your trust and hope in Jesus
Christ, he will bring the right person for your life, and there will be no
mistake about it.
Conclusion – Despite the MediaÕs Views to the Contrary, Single Motherhood
is still not the best way, nor even a good way, and, as the Bible portrays, is
sin:
It has been written in this
lesson once, and it is written here again: Anyone who makes the conscious
choice to become a single parent, knowing the odds against the child and
themselves, are committing sin. Just as with abortion, homosexuality, and
sexual promiscuity aside from marriage, single parenthood as a choice is
nothing more than the height of selfishness. It is a sin against God, the
single parent him/herself, and against the child, as they are not giving the
best they should give to the child. But as with all sin, God is merciful, and
he will forgive. If you have made the choice to become a single parent, God
will forgive you and he will help you if you come to him. He will help you
raise your child, and will provide you a way to serve him and live for him.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, in these Modern
days, help us to have wisdom – your wisdom.
LORD, we know that there are many, many single mothers and single parents out
there. For those who have made this choice, regardless of the consequences,
please help them and us to see that your way is the best way. Maybe, LORD,
there are those out there who made this choice, and are in trouble. We pray,
LORD, that you will help them to come to you and see that the help that they
need is right with you all along. Bless us all this week and this day, we
pray, in JesusÕ name, Amen.
Verse to Remember:
But if they cannot contain,
let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
–I
Corinthians 7.9