Dear readers, as a French Christian from the Province of Quebec, Canada, this is my first article with Rapture Ready—except from a poem I wrote in English published in the Soap Box III as a first try, as I write them in French. What I want to share with you isn’t easy for me and I realize that I might take the risk of being criticized. But having been saved at the age of nineteen, now being fifty-eight years old, I’ve been exposed to a lot of Christian environments, different beliefs and I’m grateful to Christ for helping me to have a good basic knowledge of his Word and enough discernment to be protected from a lot of falsehood.

I feel led to share what is a seriously misunderstood illness by too many people and more so, among true believers saved by the precious grace of the Lord. I will take a tone of confidence in this article because I see a need to discuss, depression. I will tell you my story only hoping to encourage you and help, if I can.

I was born almost dying and spent my childhood in hospitals fighting for my life. I then lived in a very dysfunctional home. I can’t remember living without being in real turmoil, loneliness, fear and despair, and sickness was worsening my situation. For a long time, I’ve read books to understand the purpose of my existence and how to overcome so much physical and emotional pain. It took me long years of searching before the Lord used my brother to let me know that I was a sinner in need to receive God’s forgiveness and receive Him as my Lord and Savior.

I resisted God’s call for quite a while but I realized I couldn’t go any further than myself. I gave Him my entire life and I knew from that point on that I was His child for eternity. I’ve been persecuted for my faith but I told myself that it wasn’t me they were attacking but the Lord Himself... and He forewarned us that it would happen. Christ turned my life around and his joy became mine. I still remained sick and at risk of dying, I fought again for my life. I then moved to the Canadian Maritimes to go to university. I wanted to study translation in order to get English Christian books translated into French books.

I met my husband there and we were together for twenty-seven years ministering for the Lord in many ways, but our relationship failed. After taking Christian counseling, we had no choice but to part (but on good terms). Over those years my health continued to be at risk. After countless severe illnesses, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and dysthymia. O my, I couldn’t believe it! It came as a shock but there finally was a name to so many things I was suffering from. I’ve inherited depression from my parents and fibromyalgia.

Dysthymia is a chronic mild form of depression that can get more severe depending on different triggers. I’ve never abandoned the Lord because of all the very painful events of my life. What I want you to know is that being accused of lacking faith, sinning, not reading the Bible enough or misunderstanding it—those were some of the hurtful accusations thrown at me for being so ill. I was told my relationship with the Lord wasn’t right, that I just had to fully go back to Him, that I was causing my own problems and that I didn’t stand on His promises. To this day, I’m being misunderstood and sometimes shunned by people, including “Christians.”

I don’t expect understanding from someone who hasn’t gone through depression. I’ve been abandoned, rejected, criticized and my own family has no clue as to what I’ve been experiencing. What is very important to realize is that the Lord is totally unconditional in His love for me or you; He created me the way I am and even though I sometimes feel ashamed of suffering from depression because I’m occasionally shunned, God isn’t bound by anything or anyone and He uses every child of His to accomplish His purposes. All the protagonists of the Bible were just human beings and they too, suffered physical and mental disorders.

Over the centuries many great men and women of God have accomplished so much for the Lord. We are weak vessels that must remain empty and available for Christ to fill according to His will. Our part is to let go and let God. I continue to struggle in just about every way, every day of my life and at times I feel empty, abandoned by the Lord and in distress. Of course those are emotions that don’t reflect the truth. I must fight the enemy and all those who are quick to judge me. I keep battling but not on my own... Jesus is in me and He is sustaining my life.

He understands me better than I understand myself. I’ve learned that turning to saved ones who battle depression like me is a terrific way to grow as a person and in the Lord.  Regardless of the cause of the depression, it is necessary to get medical help and therapy, If we need doctors for our body, the same is true for mental issues. We can’t divide them. The body, mind and soul are intertwined. Remaining close to my Savior and surrounding myself with good and positive persons brings relief to my heart and emotions.

My purpose is to give you hope and tools to fight misunderstood illnesses. Whether you get healed or not, you aren’t alone in your spiritual walk. Jesus loves you as much as he does His Father! Isn’t that wonderful? Don’t allow anyone to abuse and hurt you. Ignorance is hard to overcome but the Lord is with you as well as your loved ones and your friends. If some want to let you go, tell yourself that they aren’t worthy of you. If you have difficulty relating to God’s love because you haven’t been loved properly, don’t accuse yourself. 

He fully understands where you’re coming from. He came for those who need Him. I love reading the Psalms. David really suffered and was sick at times so I kind of relate to him. Brethren, set aside your differences as saved ones and learn to accept each other.  We are called to love one another. It’s an act of the will and we fulfill God’s call as we do so. Showing affection, tenderness, giving hugs, granting compassion, sympathy, understanding and empathy all lead to healing.

God has emotions too. Beloved, you aren’t alone in this battle. If so many Christians don’t talk about their painful realities, it’s because they are afraid to be marginalized. Open up your heart with safe persons and you will know what it’s like to still feel a deep joy in spite of your depression. I pray that you will give your burdens to Christ and share with those willing to help you. He gave us His church to grow together and be ready for our mission in this world. Share Christ and His forgiveness of sin.

Choose eternity with Him instead of having your way and then end-up in hell. He came to deliver us from ourselves, and the clutches of Satan, to transfer us into his kingdom. Be ready to go up anytime and don’t allow depression to defeat you. You are dearly loved forever so find your refuge in the Savior, to live and be what He wants for you.

I’m Lucie, who cares for you!

May Jesus bless you!

luciekirouac@sogetel.net