I was an
unsaved junior
in high school.
In math class we
had assigned
seating and I
sat next to Erin
in the back of
class with some
friends. She
wore thick
glasses, her
hair was
unkempt, and she
was always sad.
Erin was a meek
person, with a
lack of
self-confidence,
and was not part
of the popular
crowd -- but a
reject. From the
moment I first
saw her, I had
her all figured
out.
I spoke to
Erin during
class as often
as I could. By
the time class
was half way
over, I had her
crying each time
I spoke to her.
I was so proud
of myself. My
friends thought
it was great and
I thought I had
a pretty good
gift: I could
make people feel
so bad about
themselves that
they would cry
from listening
to my words. I
remember Erin
would cry and
plead with me to
stop and her
sorrow just feed
my zeal to make
her cry even
more.
Now I wasn’t
the only one who
picked on Erin.
She didn’t have
a lot of friends
and I later
found out that
her parents
berated her all
the time. She
was a failure to
them. Today we
call what her
classmates and I
did, bullying,
and what her
parents did,
emotional abuse.
I am certainly
guilty of
contributing to
her emotional
pain and
suffering.
One day, I
couldn’t make
Erin cry
anymore. She
ignored me and
smiled at me
when I tossed
vile words at
her, the worst I
could think of,
to get some
reaction out of
her but I
couldn’t get any
reaction out of
her. She left
class in a good
mood. I was
dumbfounded.
It was about
8 p.m. that same
night when I got
the phone call
from a friend.
Erin had just
taken her dad’s
.357 and shot
herself in the
head and killed
herself. I cried
and cried, like
I am right now
writing this (I
never have
written about
this), knowing
that I was
partially
responsible for
her doing that
to herself. She
was only 17
years old. I
used words to
hurt. My words
helped to kill.
Now knowing
the warning
signs of
suicidal people,
I can look back
now and see her
signs (not just
me talking to
her, but she
gave her
belongings away
to people and
discussed death
a lot). These
were textbook
symptoms of what
she was going to
do. Erin was
crying out for
help. I didn’t
listen; I was
having too much
fun making her
feel lousy. I
promised myself
that day that I
would never
again use my
words to hurt,
that I would
help people and
encourage them.
Why did I
tell you this
story? Whenever
I read the
following verses
I think of Erin:
“Let
no corrupt
communication
proceed out of
your mouth, but
that which is
good to the use
of edifying,
that it may
minister grace
unto the hearers”
(Ephesians 4:29,
KJV).
“Not
that which goeth
into the mouth
defileth a man;
but that which
cometh out of
the mouth, this
defileth a man”
(Matthew 15:11,
KJV).
In fact, I
think about her
all the time and
wonder how well
she would have
turned out as a
person, a
mother, or wife,
or a lover of
Jesus. I will
never know. I
think that if I
had used my
words to help
instead of hurt,
I would be
writing about
something else
right now.
But what is done
is done. I am
forgiven by
grace and the
sacrifice of
Christ; though I
still feel great
regret and think
of this verse:
“But I say unto
you, that every
idle word that
men shall speak,
they shall give
account thereof
in the day of
judgment. For by
thy words thou
shalt be
justified, and
by thy words
thou shalt be
condemned”
(Matthew
12:36-37, KJV).
I cannot
remember one
time since that
phone call when
I purposely
participated in
evil. I didn’t
know Jesus at
the time, but
looking back, I
feel the Spirit
had clearly
spoken to me
regarding my use
of words to
encourage and
not hurt. I now
find joy in
encouraging
people and
helping them
feel well and
good about
themselves.
My mom always
told me to be
careful of what
I said because
you can’t take
words back. Once
they are out of
your mouth, they
are out there;
there are no
take backs. Even
if you say
you’re sorry,
your vile words
linger in the
mind of the
receiver. How
about you? What
comes out of
your mouth? Do
you let vileness
flow from your
mouth towards
strangers,
friends, or
loved ones? Do
you use your
mouth to put
people down? I
think we are all
guilty of our
tongues doing
more damage than
physical pain to
someone without
knowing what the
consequences of
our words may do
to someone.
I think it is
important to use
your voice, your
tongue, to
encourage
people,
especially as it
relates to
people’s
struggles,
problems, and
relationship
with others and
the Lord. Each
person has the
power to hurt or
help others with
their mouth.
This is
something we all
know but fail
sometimes at
doing. We fail
because we get
frustrated, we
have bitterness
in our hearts,
or we just don’t
care about
another’s
feelings, only
our own.
We’ve all
felt rejection
and the sting of
harsh words, so
why would we
want to project
the same to
others? Jesus is
our example of
how we should
speak to one
another. Sure He
admonished folks
(Pharisees and
such) but that
is different
than using words
to hurt and
cause pain in
people’s heart.
Jesus, when he
spoke, was of
peace, love, and
encouragement.
Shouldn’t we
emulate that
attitude to
others?
If you are
guilty as I am
of using words
that have caused
someone great
pain, there is
still hope for
you, hope for
forgiveness from
Christ. Christ
is God’s only
Son. God gave
his Son to all
sinners as
atonement for
our sins. Christ
took every
imaginable sin
that you can
think of that
has ever been or
will be
committed and
sacrificed
himself so we
can be sinless
in the eyes of
the Lord when we
die. If you
accept Christ as
your Savior and
acknowledge that
He did die for
your sins, then
you are
considered clean
in the eyes of
the Lord. Even
I, using words
that helped push
a young woman to
kill herself, am
forgiven because
Christ died for
me for that sin
and the
countless others
that I committed
and will commit
in my life.
I took that
horrible
experience and
turned it to
work for Christ.
You can do the
same. If you
think you have
done something
unforgivable,
that you are not
worthy of being
forgiven, you
are incorrect.
Your sins are
forgiven if you
accept that
Christ died for
you and accept
Him as your Lord
and Savior.
There is no sin
that is too
great to be
forgiven. You
can use your
past experiences
to help lead
people to
Christ, to
encourage those
that need a
little push for
Christ.
Satan will
try to convince
you that your
sins are too
great or
numerous to be
forgiven. Don’t
listen to that
voice in your
head that is
telling you are
not worthy of
forgiveness. By
accepting
Christ, all your
sins are
forgiven and the
discouraging
feelings or
thoughts that
Satan throws
your way can be
put behind you.
Don’t listen to
them and if they
do pop in your
mind and if
Satan does get a
hold of your
ear, just rebuke
him and remind
yourself that
Christ covers
your sins, all
of them.
I can attest
that my change
in attitude and
words has helped
a great many
people. I
believe they
have turned a
few people’s
thoughts of
suicide away,
thus saving
their lives, all
by the grace and
guidance from
the Holy Spirit.
I have
encouraged
people to the
Lord, and use my
words to help
build people up,
not down. The
Lord has all the
praise for this
change. I will
never have
another Erin
situation happen
to me as long as
I use my voice
for Christ and
discuss His
grace for
salvation.
I urge those
of you who have
had an “Erin” in
your life to ask
for forgiveness
and allow God to
use those
experiences to
further His
ministry message
of salvation
through Christ.
Remember, you
are forgiven and
you are called
to use all
things for good
and the
furtherance of
Christ’s message
of hope.
John Lysaught
john_lysaught@yahoo.com