The Wondering

 

By Mindy Silva

 


 

Light…

 

Do you ever stop to wonder every now and then in your times of stillness, how different your life has become since the most important moment of your life took place? How affiliations, ties that bind, emotional pulls and alliances, people, places and things that surround you or were central to your life or on the periphery, all seem to be a revolving door of exits and entrances and you never know who or what is going to be next, and in what order?

 

When friendships go sour, when family members pull back, when you just can’t seem to click with any of the people with which, you used to…do you wonder why? We entertain the thought of an exception somewhere that would allow us to keep them in our lives, even when our spiritual compass points to, “No.” Our minds and our hearts cannot accept that those very same things that make-up our own little world are the very same things that will be disappearing some time from our lives in one way or another. Did those things become more central to you than Christ?

 

Have you noticed that your mere presence in a place sometimes produces a standstill of sorts, a momentary silence as it were, as if people experience a shortness of breath? Have you also noticed the tiptoeing? And have you also noticed that it’s becoming more and more so lately, so much so that you now find yourself really wondering─why? Why do these things have to happen to believers? Is there a reason?

 

There sure is!

 

You are a new breed, a new creature.

 

You have gone from the “before” into the “after.” All the disappearing and appearing in your life happens because although we all know nothing remains static, not all give prominence to the One who is the Source of our existence. Unbelievers don’t know that a born-again Christian is a born-again Christian─the major most important event in our lives─our being saved.

 

The moment separating a born-again believer’s history from the “before” into the “after” becomes the central point of our lives─at the very point when we met Jesus! I don’t mean learning about Him, or reading about Him, or hearing about Him, or visiting Him five or six days a week. I mean meeting Him face to face: Our very own personal encounter with the Son of God.

 

“And God said, ‘Let there be light.’”

 

He separated the light from the darkness. And that is what we are to the world: light. The light in us cannot do otherwise. It has to penetrate the darkness for it cannot exist in darkness. Haven’t you realized yet that you are a walking, brightly lit candle (some of us may even be floodlights by now!)?  We can’t hide our light under a bushel, the closer your walk with the Lord, the greater the separation from earthly entanglements, and whenever you walk into a “dark” environment your mere presence separates the darkness. The darkness flinches, and it may even growl at you, recognizing the Spirit that is in you. And, because of this it tries to flee. It does not dare attack you for you have Christ in you. But it sure does let you know how uncomfortable it feels!

 

And yet, there are unsaved friends and family members we are close with whom we do not seem to experience this. Have you ever wondered why not? It is because your light is slowly penetrating their darkness. You may think they don’t listen, or if they do, you wonder why they haven’t committed their lives to Christ, yet. But, the barriers existing in the spirit of most people need to be broken down by example─not by words. People closest to you want what you have but they don’t want to pay “the price.”

 

Not yet.

 

They see what you’ve been through and admire you for it but they’re closely watching you to see when you’ll break; this is not on a conscious level, it’s human nature. In reality, most of our friends and loved ones want to see us succeed. They want to see how far the faith that you say you have will take you. But, is there something missing? Has some part of your story been left out or been glossed over?  What they need to know is how you met Jesus. Maybe that will be the determinant factor in their decision to follow that same Christ you follow. There is a reason for the proximity, for nothing goes to waste in God’s plans.

 

In fact by now, they have heard so much about this Christ that others talk about so much, but they only get to see what He is really like─through you. They might be looking for Him in a church, yet still can’t see Him. Or the Christ shown to them by others is not the Christ they see in you, so it confuses them. In you, they see Him by what you show, by being forgiving, by being accepting, by your humble and kind spirit, by not being judgmental, accusatory, or condemning.

 

They see Him in your words, your actions, your inspiration, your compassion, and your encouragement. They notice Him in your lack of: cuss words, hypocrisy, greed, acquisitiveness, and manipulation. They see sincerity. They see the lack of falsity in you. They see the same face every time. They also see that you don’t drink, you don’t party, you don’t fool around; you don’t waste your time pursuing the same things they do. They know that if they should need a favor, you will not be expecting the favor to be returned…in any way.

 

In short, they see a clean and purified spirit. People are not stupid, they look to see if you are just like them, and are very much aware that only a person who has God within can be the way you appear to be─so you have piqued their curiosity. That is how your light shines before men. And the more light that you have, the more that light penetrates the darkness. Don’t worry when something or someone leaves your sphere of light, there is nothing you can physically do about it. Pray. God in His mercy may put others in that person’s path that can penetrate their darkness even deeper than your light did. (That person may be in need of floodlights, not a candle!)

 

 “That you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15).

 

If you have given your life to Jesus this is what you experience wherever you go, and wherever you are, and whomever you’re with. You, as light, cannot coexist with the darkness. And the spirit indwelling those in darkness cannot hide from that light in you, and you may end-up being resented, sometimes subconsciously whether or not they know you─it doesn’t matter. Because you see, the darkness knows you. It recognizes Christ in you. Those who dwell in darkness have made themselves comfortable in that darkness (that’s all they know) and want to stay hidden. I learned this the hard way during my “Two Black Years” and after marrying a man from my past who told me he was also a born-again Christian. But saying one is, doesn’t make one so. And that is the true mark of a Christian: being one.

 

This Is How I Met Jesus…

 

Now what was the turning point in your life that made you into this person others see and that the darkness fears? What happened to you? Do you leave others wondering?  Yes, they know all about what you were like before becoming a Christian, but what they haven’t heard is how you became one. Or, maybe they have, but wonder if is it the same for everybody that becomes a Christian. What can they expect if they meet this Jesus? How will they know they have met Him? Well, that’s why we are in their lives, to tell them all about it.

 

I am fascinated when hearing how others came to Christ. I started reading a book recently which goes into what others need to know about you as a Christian, and that is the “before” and the “after.” Before coming to Christ I was like this and like that. After coming to Christ, I am now different than I was then, in this and in that. (In other words, you were a pit bull, then after Christ, you are now a kitten.) What? Yes, we do have to let others know what He has accomplished in our lives, but let’s not leave out the most important part of the story! My spiritual hackles went up on that one. How? Where? In what way did you meet Christ?

 

That is the central theme of salvation. He, the Son of God walked into your life by invitation. How did you invite Him in? How broken were you when you reached this decision? This is the most important moment of one’s life and it’s supposed to be glossed over? The glory must go to Him for not only saving you from who/what you were, but in how He saved you, period. You could have been in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean (in or out of a boat). Did you ask Him to come into your life because the sharks were surrounding you? That actually happened. In a testimonial on a Christian TV station, I heard a woman tell her story of how she gave her life to Jesus right there in the middle of the ocean, and she was not in a boat!

 

She heard the voice of God speak out to her, loud and clear, from heaven. She promised Him she would serve Him and be a witness to Him forever. She lived to tell her story. And told it she did. I think she even wrote a book about it. What I don’t remember is if she ever mentioned what she was like before she met Christ. But I definitely do remember just how she met Him! We each have our story to tell. In my case, His gigantic hand reached through a corner of my bedroom ceiling, reached down and lifted me up out of my body…details soon to be published, see below.

 

He has reached us when we were at the end of our rope, like the woman in the story above was, and like I was, and like many others have been. If I am going to write about the details of my before and after then I had better include the details about the conversion experience also, otherwise it’s like putting two pieces of bread together and calling it a sandwich! Where’s the meat?

 

Others might have said a short quiet prayer without any supernatural manifestation of His Presence, and yet they know they were saved. All it took was a prayer, or a plea. Granted some do need a slap-in-the-face type of wake-up call, while others just need a gentle nudge or push. However it was, it was a defining moment: The most defining moment in the entire history of our lives. There are so many of us now living, and also the ones who sleep, and each one of us has had a unique personal encounter with Jesus Christ. Isn’t that worth the telling?

 

I heard this hymn a long time ago. The words are still singing in my heart, “This is where I met Jesus, I heard Him calling my name” and that’s basically all I can remember for I can’t find the hymn anywhere! But I remember it has to do with having met Him. And that’s the part of our Christian life that leaves us, and others wondering: Just how did we meet Him? Why is this part of our Christian life not highlighted?

 

Unbelievers will be very interested in finding out what the conversion experience is all about. They see the results but they have no knowledge of how and in what way it happened, and almost always, neither do we as a whole! We need to share this. There are stories galore on angels, on how God meets our needs, on how we need to witness to the unsaved, on what God can do for them and what He has done for us, yet, I see no books packed with stories of how and in what way we met Jesus.

 

And, because of this, because I was tired of wondering, too, I have decided to write such a book! If you would like to share how you met Jesus, please go to: www.burundanga.net for full details on how to submit your story.

 

God bless!

 

©Mindy Silva 2013