The Wondering
By Mindy Silva
Light…
Do you ever stop
to wonder every
now and then in
your times of
stillness, how
different your
life has become
since the most
important moment
of your life
took place? How
affiliations,
ties that bind,
emotional pulls
and alliances,
people, places
and things that
surround you or
were central to
your life or on
the periphery,
all seem to be a
revolving door
of exits and
entrances and
you never know
who or what is
going to be
next, and in
what order?
When friendships
go sour, when
family members
pull back, when
you just can’t
seem to click
with any of the
people with
which, you used
to…do you wonder
why? We
entertain the
thought of an
exception
somewhere that
would allow us
to keep them in
our lives, even
when our
spiritual
compass points
to, “No.” Our
minds and our
hearts cannot
accept that
those very same
things that
make-up our own
little world are
the very same
things that will
be disappearing
some time from
our lives in one
way or another.
Did those things
become more
central to you
than Christ?
Have you noticed
that your mere
presence
in a place
sometimes
produces a
standstill of
sorts, a
momentary
silence as it
were, as if
people
experience a
shortness of
breath? Have you
also noticed the
tiptoeing? And
have you also
noticed that
it’s becoming
more and more so
lately, so much
so that you now
find yourself
really
wondering─why?
Why do these
things have to
happen to
believers? Is
there a reason?
There sure is!
You are a new
breed, a new
creature.
You have gone
from the
“before” into
the “after.” All
the disappearing
and appearing in
your life
happens because
although we all
know nothing
remains static,
not all
give prominence
to the One who
is the Source of
our existence.
Unbelievers
don’t know that
a born-again
Christian is a
born-again
Christian─the
major most
important event
in our lives─our
being saved.
The moment
separating a
born-again
believer’s
history from the
“before” into
the “after”
becomes
the
central point of
our lives─at the
very point when
we met Jesus! I
don’t mean
learning about
Him, or reading
about Him, or
hearing about
Him, or visiting
Him five or six
days a week. I
mean meeting Him
face to face:
Our very own
personal
encounter with
the Son of God.
“And God said,
‘Let there be
light.’”
He separated the
light from the
darkness. And
that is what we
are to the
world: light.
The light in us
cannot do
otherwise. It
has to penetrate
the darkness for
it cannot exist
in darkness.
Haven’t you
realized yet
that you are a
walking,
brightly lit
candle (some of
us may even be
floodlights by
now!)?
We can’t
hide our light
under a bushel,
the closer your
walk with the
Lord, the
greater the
separation from
earthly
entanglements,
and whenever you
walk into a
“dark”
environment your
mere presence
separates the
darkness. The
darkness
flinches, and it
may even growl
at you,
recognizing the
Spirit that is
in you. And,
because of this
it tries to
flee. It does
not dare attack
you for you have
Christ in you.
But it sure does
let you know how
uncomfortable it
feels!
And yet, there
are unsaved
friends and
family members
we are close
with whom we do
not seem to
experience this.
Have you ever
wondered why
not? It is
because your
light is slowly
penetrating
their darkness.
You may think
they don’t
listen, or if
they do, you
wonder why they
haven’t
committed their
lives to Christ,
yet. But, the
barriers
existing in the
spirit of most
people need to
be broken down
by example─not
by words. People
closest to you
want what you
have but they
don’t want to
pay “the price.”
Not yet.
They see what
you’ve been
through and
admire you for
it but they’re
closely watching
you to see when
you’ll break;
this is not on a
conscious level,
it’s human
nature. In
reality, most of
our friends and
loved ones want
to see us
succeed. They
want to see how
far the faith
that you say you
have will take
you. But, is
there something
missing? Has
some part of
your story been
left out or been
glossed over?
What they
need to know is
how you met
Jesus. Maybe
that will be the
determinant
factor in their
decision to
follow that same
Christ you
follow. There is
a reason for the
proximity, for
nothing goes to
waste in God’s
plans.
In fact by now,
they have heard
so much about
this Christ that
others talk
about so much,
but they only
get to see what
He is really
like─through
you. They might
be looking for
Him in a church,
yet still can’t
see Him. Or the
Christ shown to
them by others
is not the
Christ they see
in you, so it
confuses them.
In you, they see
Him by what you
show, by being
forgiving, by
being accepting,
by your humble
and kind spirit,
by not being
judgmental,
accusatory, or
condemning.
They see Him in
your words, your
actions, your
inspiration,
your compassion,
and your
encouragement.
They notice Him
in your lack of:
cuss words,
hypocrisy,
greed,
acquisitiveness,
and
manipulation.
They see
sincerity. They
see the lack of
falsity in you.
They see the
same face every
time. They also
see that you
don’t drink, you
don’t party, you
don’t fool
around; you
don’t waste your
time pursuing
the same things
they do. They
know that if
they should need
a favor, you
will not be
expecting the
favor to be
returned…in any
way.
In short, they
see a clean and
purified spirit.
People are not
stupid, they
look to see if
you are just
like them, and
are very much
aware that only
a person who has
God within can
be the way you
appear to be─so
you have piqued
their curiosity.
That is how your
light shines
before men. And
the more light
that you have,
the more that
light penetrates
the darkness.
Don’t worry when
something or
someone leaves
your sphere of
light, there is
nothing you can
physically do
about it. Pray.
God in His mercy
may put others
in that person’s
path that can
penetrate their
darkness even
deeper than your
light did. (That
person may be in
need of
floodlights, not
a candle!)
“That
you may become
blameless and
harmless,
children of God
without fault in
the midst of a
crooked
generation,
among whom you
shine as lights
in the world”
(Philippians
2:15).
If you have
given your life
to Jesus this is
what you
experience
wherever you go,
and wherever you
are, and
whomever you’re
with. You, as
light, cannot
coexist with the
darkness. And
the spirit
indwelling those
in darkness
cannot hide from
that light in
you, and you may
end-up being
resented,
sometimes
subconsciously
whether or not
they know you─it
doesn’t matter.
Because you see,
the darkness
knows you. It
recognizes
Christ in you.
Those who dwell
in darkness have
made themselves
comfortable in
that darkness
(that’s all they
know) and want
to stay hidden.
I learned this
the hard way
during my “Two
Black Years” and
after marrying a
man from my past
who told me he
was also a
born-again
Christian. But
saying one is,
doesn’t make one
so. And that is
the true mark of
a Christian:
being one.
This Is How I
Met Jesus…
Now what was the
turning point in
your life that
made you into
this person
others see and
that the
darkness fears?
What happened to
you? Do you
leave others
wondering?
Yes, they
know all about
what you were
like before
becoming a
Christian, but
what they
haven’t heard is
how you became
one. Or, maybe
they have, but
wonder if is it
the same for
everybody that
becomes a
Christian. What
can they expect
if they meet
this Jesus? How
will they know
they have met
Him? Well,
that’s why we
are in their
lives, to tell
them all about
it.
I am fascinated
when hearing how
others came to
Christ. I
started reading
a book recently
which goes into
what others need
to know about
you as a
Christian, and
that is the
“before” and the
“after.” Before
coming to Christ
I was like this
and like that.
After coming to
Christ, I am now
different than I
was then, in
this and in
that. (In other
words, you were
a pit bull, then
after Christ,
you are now a
kitten.) What?
Yes, we do have
to let others
know what He has
accomplished in
our lives, but
let’s not leave
out the most
important part
of the story! My
spiritual
hackles went up
on that one.
How? Where? In
what way did you
meet Christ?
That is the
central theme of
salvation. He,
the Son of God
walked into your
life by
invitation. How
did you invite
Him in? How
broken were you
when you reached
this decision?
This is the most
important moment
of one’s life
and it’s
supposed to be
glossed over?
The glory must
go to Him for
not only saving
you from
who/what you
were, but in how
He saved you,
period. You
could have been
in the middle of
the Atlantic
Ocean (in or out
of a boat). Did
you ask Him to
come into your
life because the
sharks were
surrounding you?
That actually
happened. In a
testimonial on a
Christian TV
station, I heard
a woman tell her
story of how she
gave her life to
Jesus right
there in the
middle of the
ocean, and she
was not in a
boat!
She heard the
voice of God
speak out to
her, loud and
clear, from
heaven. She
promised Him she
would serve Him
and be a witness
to Him forever.
She lived to
tell her story.
And told it she
did. I think she
even wrote a
book about it.
What I don’t
remember is if
she ever
mentioned what
she was like
before she met
Christ. But I
definitely do
remember just
how she met
Him! We each
have our story
to tell. In my
case, His
gigantic hand
reached through
a corner of my
bedroom ceiling,
reached down and
lifted me up out
of my
body…details
soon to be
published, see
below.
He has reached
us when we were
at the end of
our rope, like
the woman in the
story above was,
and like I was,
and like many
others have
been. If I am
going to write
about the
details of my
before and after
then I had
better include
the details
about the
conversion
experience also,
otherwise it’s
like putting two
pieces of bread
together and
calling it a
sandwich!
Where’s the
meat?
Others might
have said a
short quiet
prayer without
any supernatural
manifestation of
His Presence,
and yet they
know they were
saved. All it
took was a
prayer, or a
plea. Granted
some do need a
slap-in-the-face
type of wake-up
call, while
others just need
a gentle nudge
or push. However
it was, it was a
defining moment:
The most
defining moment
in the entire
history of our
lives. There are
so many of us
now living, and
also the ones
who sleep, and
each one of us
has had a unique
personal
encounter with
Jesus Christ.
Isn’t that worth
the telling?
I heard this
hymn a long time
ago. The words
are still
singing in my
heart, “This is
where I met
Jesus, I heard
Him calling my
name” and that’s
basically all I
can remember for
I can’t find the
hymn anywhere!
But I remember
it has to do
with having met
Him. And that’s
the part of our
Christian life
that leaves us,
and others
wondering:
Just how did we
meet Him?
Why is this part
of our Christian
life not
highlighted?
Unbelievers will
be very
interested in
finding out what
the conversion
experience is
all about. They
see the results
but they have no
knowledge of how
and in what way
it happened, and
almost always,
neither do we as
a whole! We need
to share this.
There are
stories galore
on angels, on
how God meets
our needs, on
how we need to
witness to the
unsaved, on what
God can do for
them and what He
has done for us,
yet, I see no
books packed
with stories of
how and in what
way we met
Jesus.
And, because of
this, because I
was tired of
wondering, too,
I have decided
to write such a
book! If you
would like to
share how you
met Jesus,
please go to:
www.burundanga.net
for full details
on how to submit
your story.
God bless!
©Mindy Silva
2013
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